How To Handle Your Bossy Child - 19 Positive Parenting Tips
If you're a mom of a young child, then you know that bossiness can be a real challenge.
It seems like every day, your little one is telling you what to do and how to do it.
While these bossy behaviors can be frustrating, it's important to remember that it's usually just a phase.
With some patience and gentle guidance, you can help your child learn how to handle their bossiness in a positive way.
Disclaimer: This page contains affiliate links. If you choose to make a purchase after clicking a link, I may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank You for your support.What is Bossy Behavior in Childhood?
Bossy behavior is when a child tries to control or direct the actions of others.
This can manifest itself in various ways, such as ordering other kids around during play, insisting that they always get their way, or constantly correcting adults.
While bossy behavior is perfectly normal during childhood, it's important to help your child learn how to handle it positively.
Why Do Children Become Bossy?
Pin this Post to Pinterest
"Why is my child bossy?"
There are a few different reasons why children might become bossy.
In some cases, it's simply because they are imitating the behavior of adults.
Kids see their parents or other authority figures telling others what to do, and they think that this is how they're supposed to act.
In other cases, bossiness can be a way for kids to exert control over their environment.
When children feel like they're not in control of their own lives, they might try to take charge of certain situations and people around them.
Whatever the reason for your child's bossiness, it's important to remember that this is a phase that all kids go through.
With some patience and guidance, your child will learn how to handle their bossiness positively.
Characteristics of a Bossy Child
Click on image to download
Bossy kids are often pegged as being " bossy" because they have high self-esteem. They are confident and know what they want. So, instead of trying to squash their bossy behavior, it's best to support and nurture it.
bossy children have good leadership skills and are usually natural leaders. They're not afraid to take charge and they're often very strong-willed.
bossy children are often very organized and detail-oriented. They like things to be done a certain way and they're usually good at keeping track of details. This can be a helpful skill in any number of situations, from school projects to soccer games.
bossy children are typically very passionate and enthusiastic about the things they care about. They're strong-willed and not afraid to stand up for what they believe in and they're usually fiercely loyal to their friends and family.
While on the other hand, they are also
Mr or Miss Know it all. They will try to tell you what to do and how to do it. They're convinced that they know better than anyone else, even if they don't have all the facts.
Are impatient and often want things done their way and right now. This can be frustrating for those around them.
May often have difficulty sharing and taking turns.
They might also have trouble following rules or instructions, and they may constantly try to correct adults.
Bossy children often have a hard time empathizing with others.
They might not understand why someone would want to do something differently than they do, and they might get upset when things don't go their way.
If your child is bossy, you might notice that they struggle to make friends. Other kids might not want to play with them because they are always trying to take charge.
Click on the image to download
Coping Tips for Parents
It can be difficult for many parents to deal with a bossy child.
Bossy kids are often demanding and inflexible, and they can be very frustrating to deal with.
If you're struggling to deal with your child's bossiness, it's important to remember that you're not alone.
Here are a few tips that might help:
Try to Be Patient:
Dealing with a bossy child can be frustrating, but it's important to try to be patient.
Remember that this is just a phase, and your child will grow out of it eventually.
Don't Take it Personally:
It's easy to take your child's bossiness personally, but it's important to remember that they're not doing it to upset you.
They're just acting how they think they're supposed to act.
Be Assertive:
It's important to be assertive when dealing with your child's behavior.
Don't let them walk all over you but try to avoid getting into a power struggle.
Set Limits:
It's important to set limits with a pushy child.
Let them know what behavior is acceptable and what isn't.
Be consistent with your expectations and give them specific consequences if they refuse to listen.
Maintain Control:
Try not to get frazzled when your bossy child is trying to take control.
Remember that you are the parent, and you are ultimately in charge.
If you stay calm and in control, it will be easier for your child to do the same.
19 Positive Parenting Tips: How to Deal with Your Child's Bossy Behavior
Download Book- How to Improve the Social Skills of Your Bossy Child
If you're struggling with how to deal with your bossy child, here are a few tips that can help:
Encourage Your Child to Express Their Feelings in Words.
One of the reasons why children become bossy is because they don't know how to express their feelings in words.
Help your child learn how to identify and verbalize their emotions.
This will help them feel more in control, and less likely to act out in a bossy way.
For example, you might say, "I can see that you're feeling frustrated. It's okay to feel that way, but let's try to use our words to express how we're feeling."
Here is a helpful article: How to Teach Kids About Feelings and Emotions
Help Your Child to Understand Rules and Boundaries.
It's important to help your child understand the rules and boundaries that they need to follow.
When children feel like they understand the expectations, they are less likely to try to take charge.
For example, you might say, "We need to use indoor voices in the library so that everyone can hear. That's the rule."
Teach Your Child How to Take Turns and Share.
Bossy children often have trouble sharing and taking turns.
Remind them that it's important to let others have a turn.
For example, you might say, "I know you want to play with the toy truck, but it's your sister's turn. When she's finished, then it will be your turn. "You can also teach them how to take turns by modeling the behavior yourself.
Encourage Your Child to Empathize with Peers.
Help your child to understand how other children are feeling.
This will help them to be more compassionate and less bossy.
For example, you might say, "I can see that you feel angry because your sister doesn't want to play with you. Maybe she's feeling tired and just needs a break."
Encourage Positive Behavior with Praise and Reinforcement.
When your child behaves in a way that you want them to, be sure to point it out and praise them.
This will encourage them to continue the positive behavior.
For example, you might say, "Great job using your indoor voice in the library!"
Here is an article: How to Praise Your Child The Right Way- 65 Examples
Download Book- How to Improve the Social Skills of Your Bossy Child
Encourage Your Child to Listen to Others.
One of the reasons why children become bossy is because they don't listen to others.
Explain the importance of listening to others. This will help them to be more respectful and less bossy.
For example, you might say, "I know you want to share your ideas, but it's important to listen to what others have to say, too."
Help them Understand How their Behavior is Affecting Others:
It's important to help your child understand how their bossy behavior is impacting family and friends around them.
This can be a delicate conversation, but it's important to have.
You might say something like, "I know you're just trying to be helpful, but your sister doesn't like it when you tell her what to do. Maybe you can ask her nicely if she needs help instead."
Teach Them to Compromise:
Compromise is an important skill for kids to learn, and it can help manage bossy behavior.
If your child is insistent on always getting their way, try to teach them the value of compromise.
For example, you might say, "I know you want to go to the park, but we can't go right now. Your sister is not feeling well and she needs rest. How about we go to the park when daddy gets home?"
Set Limits on Bossy Behavior:
It's important to set limits on bossy behavior, especially if it's starting to become a problem.
For example, you might say, "I know you're trying to be helpful, but it's not okay to tell your sister what to do. If you do it again, you'll need to take a break from playing with her."
Here is an article that might help: How to Set Limits for Kids- 9 Tips for Behaviour Management
Create Opportunities for Them to Lead:
Giving your child a leadership role can help them feel more confident and less bossy.
For example, you might say, "I know you're really good at building towers. Would you like to show your sister how to do it?"
Encourage Positive Assertiveness:
Download Book- How to Improve the Social Skills of Your Bossy Child
It's important to encourage your child to be assertive, but not aggressive.
For example, you can praise your child for speaking up for themselves but discourage them from ordering siblings around. E.g. "Great job speaking up for yourself, but it's not okay to tell your sister what to do."
Be a Good Role Model:
Being a positive role model is one of the most effective ways to deal with pushy behavior.
If you're always getting in the way or commanding others around, your youngster is likely to do likewise.
Instead, try to set a good example and teach your kid how to act responsibly.
How To Be A Good Role Model To Kids-15 Characteristics
Avoid Power Struggles:
If you fight with your bossy child, things will only get worse.
If you find yourself caught in a power struggle with your youngster, it's critical to take a break and avoid escalating the conflict.
Instead of fighting back, try to redirect your child's behavior in a good way.
For example, you might say, "I understand you're angry, but shouting is not going to make things any better. Let's take a moment to calm down and discuss this rationally."
Here is a helpful article: How to End Power Struggle With Your Pre-Schooler- Why It Happens and How to Stop It!
Offer Choice:
When children feel like they're in control, they're less likely to act bossy.
Whenever possible, offer your kids choices and allow them to make decisions.
For example, you might say, "Would you like to wear the blue shirt or the green shirt today?"
Encourage cooperation:
One of the best ways to deal with bossy behavior is to encourage cooperation.
Try to find activities that your child can do with other children or a younger sibling.
This will help them to learn how to work together and be less bossy.
For example, you might say, "I know you're really good at puzzles. Would you like to work on this puzzle with your sister?"
Click on the image to download
Role-Playing:
One of the best ways to teach your youngster how others feel about their bossy behavior is to role-play different scenarios.
This will help them to better understand how their actions impact others.
For example, you might say, "Let's pretend that your sister is the bossy one. How do you think you would feel if she always told you what to do?"
Brainstorm Solutions:
Another great way to teach your youngster how to deal with bossy behavior is to brainstorm solutions together.
This will help them to come up with ideas on how to handle different situations.
For example, you might say, "What do you think you could do next time instead of telling your sister what to do?"
Todd the Frog is So Bossy is the 5th Book in ‘Todd the Frog’ Series- Available now on Amazon.
Read stories:
Reading stories about dealing with bossy behavior can also be helpful.
This will help your child learn how to react when things don't go his or her way.
For example, you might say, "In this story, the main character gets angry when his friends don’t do what he wants. What do you think he should do instead?"
Use feeling and Emotions cards:
One way to help your youngster understand how to deal with bossy behavior is to use feeling and emotions cards.
This will help them to understand how to express their feelings in different situations.
For example, you might say, "Let's pretend that I'm feeling bossy. What emotions would I be feeling?"
Or you could reverse the scenario and ask, "How do you think your friend feels when you don't let them build a tower how she wants to."
Conclusion
Bossy behavior in childhood can be frustrating for both the child and the parents.
However, there are ways to cope with this behavior that can lead to a more positive relationship with your child.
By using positive parenting techniques and understanding why children become bossy, you can help them learn how to handle their strong personalities healthily.
What have been your biggest challenges when it comes to coping with your child's bossy behavior?
Let me know in the comments below!
FAQ
Q. My child is bossy with other children. How can I get them to stop?
A. If your child is bossy with other children, it's important to encourage cooperation. Try to find activities that your child can do with other children or a younger sibling. This will help them to learn how to work together and be less bossy. You can also role-play with your child or read stories together about bossy behavior to help them understand how to deal with it.
Q. My child is bossy with me. How can I get them to stop?
A. Provide your child with opportunities to make decisions. This could involve letting them choose what they want to wear or what they want to eat. You can also give them choices between two options, such as which book they want to read before bedtime. By giving your child a sense of control, you can help them feel less bossy. You should also avoid reacting negatively to bossy behavior. If you get angry or frustrated, your child will only see that their bossiness gets results. Instead, try to remain calm and redirect the conversation. Finally, make sure to praise your child when they display cooperative behavior. By following these tips, you can help your bossy child learn to share the power and enjoy a better relationship with you.
